Understanding Boundaries: A Vital Skill for Teens

Last year, I had the privilege of running a Teen Transformational Group Program, where one session was dedicated to a critical theme: Boundaries & The Art of Saying ‘No’.

The session sparked deep conversations among the teens as they opened up about their struggles with saying ‘no’ to friends, family, and peers. Many shared feelings of anxiety and fear of being perceived as “rude” or risking conflict.

Together, we explored how to recognize personal boundaries and practiced strategies for expressing a firm yet kind “no.” The session concluded with a simple yet powerful homework assignment: to practice recognizing, articulating, and holding boundaries in their day-to-day lives.

Practicing the Art of “No”

The following week, the teens returned to share their experiences. One member of the group—let’s call them “Superstar”—shared a revealing story.

Superstar lent a shirt to a friend who asked to borrow it, despite not wanting to. They explained that they went against their own truth to avoid appearing rude. However, Superstar later felt upset for abandoning their personal boundary to please someone else.

Remarkably, their peers highlighted a key achievement in Superstar’s story: they had recognized their boundary in the first place.

Role-Playing Confidence

To help Superstar feel more confident in expressing their boundaries, we role-played the situation. Superstar was given the opportunity to “go back in time” and practice speaking their boundary from a kind, grounded, and firm perspective.

They started by acknowledging the friend’s request with a positive:

“I appreciate you asking to borrow my shirt. I love it too...”

Then they added their boundary using the word “and”—a subtle yet powerful tool that helps keep communication open and respectful:

“And, I love it a lot and I’m not open to lending it out. However, I would be open to lending you this shirt instead. Would you want to borrow this instead?”

After a few tries, Superstar confidently delivered their response during the role-play. The group erupted in cheers and applause as Superstar beamed with pride.

Why Learning Boundaries Matters

Creating safe spaces for teens to explore these skills is crucial. Boundary-setting is not just about saying “no”; it’s about honoring their truth, building self-respect, and fostering healthier relationships. Every teen deserves the support to step into their most confident, empowered self.

Meet Rachel Weinstock: A Transformational Coach for Teens

If your teen struggles with boundaries, self-esteem, or navigating challenges like bullying, consider reaching out to Rachel Weinstock, a renowned Bullying Transformational Coach. Rachel specializes in helping teens and pre-teens develop confidence, resilience, and tools to thrive in the face of life’s challenges.

Rachel’s empathetic approach provides a safe space for young people to explore their emotions, build self-worth, and practice critical life skills like boundary-setting.

Ready to Support Your Teen?

If you believe a teen or pre-teen in your life could benefit from coaching or support, reach out today. Let’s work together to empower the next generation to live authentically and confidently.