Understanding the Reaction

Many parents have experienced moments when their teen’s emotional reaction to a seemingly minor change feels overwhelming. Tears, shouting, slammed doors—it can feel disproportionate to the situation at hand.

One family I worked with described this vividly during a session. They explained how difficult it had been to get their teen to join a Zoom session with me, recounting the emotional meltdown that erupted after a small adjustment to their regular routine.

The Ripple Effect of a Routine Disruption

In this family’s case, the teen had a predictable post-soccer practice routine:

• Shower

• Relax

• Do homework

• Have dinner

Because of our session, the routine had to change slightly:

• Shower

• Have dinner

• Attend the session

While the parents had informed their teen in advance and received a verbal agreement, the slight shift in order led to an explosive response when the moment came. The teen became inconsolable, leaving their parents feeling frustrated and helpless.

What Was Really Happening

During our session, I explored what the teen was experiencing internally. They shared that following their routine helped them stay regulated and avoid overstimulation. Changing the order, even slightly, created an internal sense of chaos.

They explained that agreeing to the change, even though they didn’t feel okay with it, only added to their discomfort. They felt destabilized and anxious, which spiraled out of control by the time they were asked to help set the dinner table.

To the parents, the reaction seemed unreasonable. To the teen, it felt like being denied something essential for managing their anxiety—akin to needing medication and not being allowed to take it.

Building Compassion and Understanding

This breakthrough moment allowed the parents to see their teen’s behavior in a new light.

By framing the teen’s reaction as a response to overstimulation and anxiety rather than defiance, the parents began to approach the situation with greater compassion. I also encouraged them to reflect on their own childhood moments of frustration or miscommunication.

When we shift from viewing these reactions as “difficult” or “unreasonable” to understanding them as an unmet need for regulation and predictability, everything changes.

Why Connection Transforms

The teen left the session feeling deeply validated:

“I’m relieved… someone finally gets it.”

This moment of connection didn’t just help the teen feel seen—it transformed the family dynamic. Their parents’ newfound understanding laid the groundwork for a more empathetic and harmonious relationship.

Teens often resist including parents in coaching sessions, but when they open up to the idea, the results can be profound. These conversations foster mutual understanding and help families create lasting change.

Meet Rachel Weinstock: A Transformational Coach for Teens

If your teen struggles with emotional regulation, anxiety, or feels misunderstood, Rachel Weinstock can help. Rachel is a Bullying Transformational Coach who specializes in guiding teens and pre-teens through the challenges of emotional resilience, self-esteem, and navigating family dynamics.

Rachel provides a safe and supportive environment where teens can process their emotions, develop tools to manage their needs, and build stronger relationships with their loved ones.

Ready to Connect?

If you’re a parent navigating challenging emotional responses from your teen, reach out today. Together, we can help your teen feel heard and empowered, and transform your family dynamic in the process.