The Struggle to Be Seen

The other day, I had a moving conversation with one of my teen clients. With tears in their eyes and a quiver in their voice, they bravely shared their struggles with being seen and heard in the world.

Their story began with memories of severe bullying in elementary school.

“Every day, they called me ‘stupid,’ ‘a loser,’ and worse. No one wanted to play with me during recess, so I just walked around alone.”

This heartbreaking experience left a lasting impact, making my client feel like taking up space—asking for help, asserting needs, or simply existing—was wrong or bothersome to others.

The Lingering Effects of Bullying

During our session, my client shared a story that revealed how these feelings still affect them. Over the weekend, they went shopping with their mom and tried on some dresses they really liked. But when it came time to ask a salesperson for a different size, they froze with fear.

“I know it’s their job to help, but I felt like I’d be annoying them. What if they got irritated or angry?”

When I asked them to explore where these thoughts might come from, they paused and then whispered:

“I think it started when kids bullied me in elementary school. I was always scared of making anyone angry because it always ended with me getting hurt. I just wanted to be invisible so they’d leave me alone.”

This realization was a powerful moment. They connected the dots between their fear of taking up space in the present and the trauma they endured in the past.

Reclaiming Space, Step by Step

To help my client begin reclaiming their confidence, we worked on a small but meaningful goal: practicing how to ask for help in a store. Together, we crafted a simple script:

“Hi there, I’m wondering if you carry this in a medium size?”

We role-played this scenario several times. At first, their voice was shaky, and they avoided eye contact. But as we practiced, their posture straightened, their voice grew steady, and their confidence shone through.

The following week, my client walked into our session glowing with pride.

“I asked for help, and I got the right size! And this is the shirt I bought!”

They had not only achieved their goal but also taken a meaningful step toward reclaiming their voice and presence in the world.

Why Taking Up Space Matters

For many teens, bullying and low self-esteem can create a belief that they’re a burden or that their needs don’t matter. But every teen deserves to feel worthy of space, respect, and care. By helping teens take small, actionable steps, we can empower them to break free from these limiting beliefs and embrace their right to exist fully and authentically.

Meet Rachel Weinstock: A Transformational Coach for Teens

If your teen struggles with boundaries, confidence, or the lingering effects of bullying, Rachel Weinstock is here to help. Rachel is a Bullying Transformational Coach who specializes in guiding teens and pre-teens through the challenges they face, helping them build resilience, self-esteem, and a sense of empowerment.

Rachel’s compassionate approach provides a safe and supportive environment for teens to process their experiences, develop tools for self-advocacy, and learn to take up space in their own lives.

Ready to Support Your Teen?

If you know a teen who is struggling with self-esteem or finding their voice, reach out today. Together, we can help them take the first steps toward confidence, self-respect, and a brighter future.